The B Chronicles
by Natashka
Summary: Survival is hard. As is rescuing agroup of essential friends from the evil grasp of the Integral.
1. The Saga Begins

1 The Saga Begins  
  
A long time ago, in a Five Star ™ binder far, far away, a section emerged, titled "BC Calculus." The section grew at a seemingly exponential rate, and this made the neighboring sections extremely nervous. This especially angered AP Physics B.  
  
For months, AP Physics B was the prominent section. Within it could be found more blood, sweat, and tears than any other section could ever claim. The section was inhabited by many great men and women, dead and alive, as well as by hundreds of Formulas. It was thus quite understandable when AP Physics B became utterly outraged at BC Calculus.  
  
The section of BC was very unlike any other section and contained creatures to which B dwellers were completely oblivious. These evil snake- like creatures loomed around their section, gathering to themselves all algebraic functions in site. Freeing them from these creatures required great levels of skill that few B inhabitants possessed.  
  
Tensions mounted, as it seemed, for several long marking periods. Until one day a truly horrific event shook the section of B. A copy of a BC homework assignment was accidentally dropped on the B section. It was at this point that all havoc broke loose.  
  
"I am the Integral," spoke the first snake-like creature, to the dwellers of B. The Formulas knew this meant trouble. Several dead scientists swooned.  
  
"We mean no harm, " said Sigma, trailing behind Integral at a nearly negligeble rate of change in distance [dx/dt]. But the Formulas knew better. True, the Integral did not walk itself into their planet – that would be next year. But now that it was here, the Formulas knew well that nothing was safe.  
  
Quickly Work and Energy grabbed their velocities and masses and scrambled onto two nearby coplanar carts. Little did they realize that one of the two was moving towards the second static one, with a given velocity. "Oh no! We're gonna collide!" screamed Work. But Energy did not even get a chance to hear the statement; it was already in the process of transforming from its potential form to the kinetic. Impulse jumped out of the collision – and was momentarily captured by Integral.  
  
Similar situations occurred all over the neighboring areas of section B. The Projectile made it back, but lost its Horizontal Distance Formula on the way. Electricity was fully raped, and the entire mechanics section was now missing large pieces of essential equations. The BC homework was then removed, along with all these many essential parts of section B. All that remained was the Integral that captured an Equipotential Surface, but the moment the two laid eyes on each other they knew it was love at first site. It was set from that moment – the two would never part, no matter how rejected Ms. Equipotential would become in her society upon one day becoming Mrs. Integral.  
  
TO BE CONTINUED 


	2. The Plan

Days went by; then weeks. The situation over at B was getting continually worse. Day by day as new members entered the B society they immediately lost validity as citizens, since the great lack of essential members prevented any other role from being played to its full potential.  
  
So it was now that the B Empire decided that a counterattack was necessary. These guys didn't stand a chance against BC and they knew it, but they weren't going to continue living their lives in anarchy. So thus with the AP Exam nearing, the Formulas summoned a meeting of section B, one which would decide the fate of the whole section.  
  
Thus upon the section's dawn, at precisely 11:45 am, the Formulas gathered around the Reference Table to discuss further actions. The plan of action, after much deliberation, was an offensive one. Perhaps they would lose, but B had to get the missing Formulas back - there was no Physics B without them.  
  
So few by few, B Formulas would invade section BC. An all-out mass invasion would definitely be too risky, for B would possibly lose most to all of its members and never again become functional.  
  
In preparing for the mission, a few weeks were dedicated to hardcore training and practice. Each and every remaining Formula gave much time to extended meditation, bonding with its roots and derivations. Judgment Day was nearing – B versus BC, and only one would walk out alive. 


	3. The Solution

One day, having realized that time was running low, section B decided that the time to attack had come. The best Formulas were to go first – this total lack of efficiency would have been prevented, but unfortunately enough Carnot's Formula had not been present – it was one of the unlucky many to be captured by the Integral.  
  
So they were sent in, and for once, all B citizens walked hand in hand. Buoyancy held the hand of Universal Gravitation and Thermodynamic extension chatted gaily with Lambda.  
  
Only Ms. Equipotential and her Mr. Integral were shunned and silenced. Many a time, Mr. Integral would attempt to speak, only to be stoned in return, by projectiles, cannon balls, and oscillating pendulums.  
  
So the Formulas were sent in. A Period passed. Not a sign.  
  
Minor Formulas were crying and everyone mourned for the unreturned. Surely they were, by now, captured by the Integral.  
  
It was now that Ms. Equipotential's Mr. Integral could no longer hold out. Placing himself behind a protective single slit wall and choosing a wavelength that would produce the greatest constructive interference, Mr. Integral shouted, quickly, from the top of his lungs.  
  
"Formulas of all derivations and ages," said he, "hear me."  
  
The Formulas, hearing the great potency of this voice and gnashing their teeth at the fact that the wall would make any stoning impossible, turned and listened curiously to this reject of society.  
  
"Formulas, hear me," repeated he. "As you all know, I am in love with Ms. Equipotential. We have bonded so strongly now that let me assure you, she would not be able to function as a Formula in course B without me."  
  
Gasps could be heard from near and far. The formulas were outraged.  
  
"But hear me, as I love one of your kind, I want to help."  
  
Formulas of all ages looked distrustfully upon the wall which spoke to them. Either this Mr. Integral was a tyrant or a liar, but a tyrant would be of much help now.  
  
"None of you stand a chance against BC and you know it," screamed Mr. Integral.  
  
"But one thing can help!"  
  
By now the audience was fully curious and trembling with fear and excitement.  
  
"The Integral is the all powerful mighty mathematical operation and nothing can stop him. Nothing but The Antiderivative."  
  
"Oohs" and "Aahs" could be heard from all over. The Antiderivative - the solution to all of life's major problems. So simple was this truth, so savory to the section B ear, that the Formulas all began to sing aloud and stomp their feet to the extent that a resonance was caused, shattering the wall of Mr. Integral, falling on him, and in effect crushing him to death.  
  
Ms. Equipotential gasped, swooned, and discharged a 5.00 MicroCulomb charge. 


End file.
